The Art of Being vs. Doing

I haven’t posted for almost three weeks. I’ve had plenty of thoughts to share, but I simply felt the need to be quiet for a while.

About three weeks ago, I hurt my leg. I have a vein close to the surface that usually stays hidden unless it’s stressed—something that started sixteen years ago when I was pregnant with my youngest. I fell up the stairs and hit that exact spot. It was swollen and bruised, and while it’s healing now, the injury forced a change in my pace.

I got back into my marathon training this past Monday with a walk, but then I chose to rest Tuesday and Wednesday. I was tired; I’ve been binge-watching a series and staying up way too late! On Wednesday, I finally made myself stop and go to bed. I didn't feel like hitting the gym today, but I did it anyway. I actually started writing this on Monday when I felt the spark to get back into things, but it took until now to finish.

Learning to Rest

I initially felt the need to rest physically because of my leg, but I soon realized I needed a mental and emotional break, too. Some of the posts I write take a lot of energy because I’m sharing such vulnerable parts of myself.

The amazing thing? I didn't feel drained. I didn't feel like I was letting anyone down. I didn't feel lazy, and I didn't feel a shred of guilt. In the past, I would have felt all of those things. What helps me now is a new set of inner truths: “I'm safe,” “I am allowed to rest,” and “I am loving myself by resting.” I was so used to always doing, but for the past two weeks, I was practicing being.

Sometimes "just being" is the actual action required to move forward. When I rest, ideas come to me. In fact, this entire blog was born during a period of rest. Last August, while I was home with a rare cold, the song "Come and Get Your Love" popped into my head. That melody stayed with me until I finally launched this site in November.

Awareness and Balance

I am constantly becoming more aware of myself, and that awareness requires quiet. I need time to process new information and figure out how to move forward. I’m also learning to take things off my plate. When I went to that concert in NYC, I let someone else handle the things I usually do for my kids.

During this rest period, I still worked and took care of my kids' appointments, but I also slept more. I laid in bed more. It felt good to release the "I have to" mindset. I don’t have to write a blog or train for a marathon—I choose to.

Evaluating the Path

Rest helps me reset and evaluate. My marathon training has felt like an uphill battle lately, and when something isn't progressing, I have to ask: Is this still my dream?

Running a marathon is a goal I set a decade ago. Even when I’m not running, I see others doing it and I miss it. I remember how proud I was to hit five miles back then. Because I still feel that spark, I know the goal is right—I just need to change how I do it.

Building a Foundation

I didn't learn to rest easily. Growing up, I felt like "doing" was the only way to survive. I saw women go through divorces as stay-at-home moms, and it looked like such a hard transition. I told myself I had to know how to do everything so I could always make it on my own.

"Doing" also prevented me from looking at myself. I couldn’t do the "deep work" while I was constantly running. I used to feel more worthy when I did more, but I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I am worthy no matter what I am doing or not doing.

Rest allows me to actually feel my feelings and sit with them without rushing. I don’t feel the need to hurry anymore. Slow and steady builds a solid foundation.

My Hope for You

My hope for you today is that you take ten minutes just to rest—without expectations. When my kids were little, that time was right after I woke up or after they went to sleep. Now, I use my mornings to meditate.

• Do you have alone time?

• Can you stand being alone?

• Can you find the time to try it?

The benefit is a deeper love for yourself. One way for me to "get my love" is to rest. Writing this blog is how I give my love to you. So... come and get your love.

I love you

This is Love