The Story Behind the Blog.....

Hi! My name is Sarah Elizabeth. I am 41 with two adult children and one teenager. I am divorced. I have had many different experiences in my life, which I have perceived as good and bad. This blog is about unconditional love, and some things I will speak on are not all love and great, but they were stepping stones to get me to that space of love. I want to share my life with others because I love to help people. I know my experiences and what I have learned from them have helped other people on a smaller scale. I am growing, and so is the audience I want to share with.

Everything I share is based on my experience and how I perceive things. It is not meant for people to follow anything I do. I am sharing so it will make others feel they can give and receive unconditional love, no matter their situation. It will most likely look different or will be different in some ways. We are all different and have different paths. I know when I hear people share with me, it jogs something in my memories that I need to deal with, and usually, I have a different way than what was spoken. I don't want people to think they have to or should do everything I talk about. It is to open you up to your own possibilities.

A few years ago, in 2022, I was not taking care of myself. It was the worst I had felt in my whole life. I didn't know what anxiety felt like until that year. It SUCKS! I lost about 25 pounds in six months. I wasn't sleeping enough and definitely not eating enough. Doctor appointments—I wasn't even trying to make those. I didn't have enough time. I was working 50–60 hours a week. My children were younger: 12, 16, and 17 that year. My youngest has been in travel soccer since she was 8 and playing since 6. Her schedule was time-consuming. My then-husband lived with us but was not as supportive and present because of things he had going on within himself. Work itself was a nightmare. I was run down and didn't even know how it got this far. I wasn't myself, and people that have known me for a long time were asking me what was wrong. I couldn't tell them because I didn't know.

I decided to change my life. I left my marriage after 20 years together and my job after 21 years. People told me they thought I was so brave to leave my job. The ending of my marriage I kept to myself until I moved out in January 2023. I told people if I saw them when I was out and about. Then I made it more public in 2024. I needed time to myself. When people were telling me how brave I was and couldn't believe I quit, I told them it was easier than I thought it would be. If you knew how I felt inside, you would be asking, "How could you stay in those situations for so long?" You would think I was brave or stupid, maybe, if you knew what was going on inside me.

I was alone and felt people taking advantage of me but couldn't stop it. Speaking up wasn't working, so I had to leave. It was killing me to stay. This was the ending of something I knew couldn't be in my life anymore and a new beginning to self-love.

I have always practiced self-love in some ways since I was a teen. I was tired of being that scared girl who did what she was told even though it didn't feel right. I stopped and stood up for myself against my parents and anyone who was not treating me the way I wanted to be treated. That can only work for so long. You can't change people, and I knew that. How do you shut your family out when you can't move out yet? I found a way. I needed to show my parents I meant business. I would leave for a week at a time for a few months. I didn't tell them where I was, so for the week I was gone, they didn't even know if I was alive. This experience made me feel bad, so I stopped. If it were my child, I would be upset. Also, it taught me I can leave people that are not good for me. I ended up moving out at 19 with the man I shared my life with for 20 years.

I stayed in two environments that were not good for me mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically. I don't blame any of those people that I felt contributed to the way things were in that moment. Everyone was showing me a version that got to me, and I didn't know why until I left it behind.

I realized I had to work on my relationship with my mom. Here is the hard part: She died in September of 2010, so I had to figure out how to do that with a person who is not even present in my life. It was challenging, but I figured it out. I did the same with my dad, who died in April 2015.

I did not grow up in a home where I was hugged or told, "I love you." I knew my parents did love me. Words can mean so much, too, along with action. I have had so much happen that could make me want to be hateful. It felt wrong to hate. I don't like the feeling. Love is such a better feeling; I had to figure it out by learning what it is not. There are many people that have shown me love, including my parents. I had expectations of what it should look like. Today, I accept what people can give, not what I think they should. That is how I healed my relationship with my parents.

I share all this because I went through some shit, and I still found love for myself and others. I have done things and gone through things that I was ashamed of. All that did was make me believe I didn't deserve love. I will be sharing the hard parts, what I learned from them, and sharing how I live my life now. I continue to learn. It doesn't stop, but it is an amazing journey to be on. I am so grateful for my whole life, and I want others to feel the same. I hope you learn from my words and interact. If you have questions or have topics that you would like my opinion on, I would be happy to incorporate it into my blog. If you want to remain anonymous, let me know. I want everyone to feel like this is a safe space. I am a safe space because I want to be. I am what I needed through each stage of my life. Join me on my journey every Thursday and may it help you with yours!

Welcome to: This is Love