Choosing Me

I took a rest day.

I started this marathon training on February 15th. At first, I thought having only one rest day a week would be fine because I wasn't doing "too much"—it was mostly walking. But before this, I had been stationary for a few months, only walking occasionally to get some movement in.

I am determined to go after this goal once and for all, and I knew I had to start slow to keep my body from hurting. While I’ve been sore, it was manageable—until yesterday. For the first time, I felt like I shouldn't be running. My shins hurt. I pushed through it because I was already there, and it wasn't unbearable, but my body was sending a signal.

Today, I took my second rest day since I started. The last one was due to a lack of sleep, but this one was about my bones. By Tuesday night, I felt the fatigue deep down. I knew a rest day would be the best thing for me.

The Hardest Part of Training: Resting

Something I don’t hear enough about is how powerful it is to give your body rest. I know that when I take a break, I come back stronger, more ready, and with better ideas. Still, I had to talk myself into it.

To me, rest sometimes feels like giving up or like I don’t want the goal enough. But that isn't the case. Because I want to be successful, I have to take the right steps for me. Listening to my body is the only way to keep going long-term. I don't want to get injured just because I think I "need" to do X, Y, and Z.

Choosing to listen to my body is an act of self-love. When I feel that urge to push too hard, I stop and tell myself: I love myself. I am choosing me right now.

The Philosophy of a Flat Tire

I had already decided to take Thursday off because of my shins, but then life stepped in: I got a flat tire.

It’s funny how that happened right after I chose to prioritize my rest. I’ve been wanting to post a regular blog piece for a while but haven't had the time. Suddenly, while waiting for help with the flat, I had nothing but time. My shins hurt, so I rested; my car was "hurt," so it rested while I created.

That flat tire actually worked in my favor. It gave me time to write. It allowed me to get my middle child to work early and spend a unique morning with my youngest. Because she was with me when the doctor’s office called, she got to choose her own appointment time and which classes she’d miss. That wouldn’t have happened if I were busy working my Uber Eats shift.

The flat tire made me pause. At first, I started to spiral—thinking about how it messed up my day—but then I just sat for a few minutes. I reached out for help, and I used the time to write this journal entry for you.

Moving Away from the Fight

Every time I write for this blog, I am choosing myself. Sharing my feelings and experiences feels healing, like sharing a journal entry with a friend.

I’m moving away from the "fight." I was taught to grind and hustle for everything I wanted, but I’ve realized I don’t need to do that anymore. I can have direction and action without the struggle. I can ask for help. I can get things off my plate. I can rest and still have everything work out—often better than I planned.

I am loving my body exactly where it is. Setbacks don't mean you’re doing things wrong or moving too slowly; they just mean you're moving at your own pace. I can’t sprint a marathon, and I can’t sprint through life.

The Language of the Body

Do you listen to your body? I didn’t used to. It’s actually a very new, intensive practice for me. Now, I determine my day by what is sore or hurting.

I’ve found that different parts of my body tell me different things. For example, when my left hip is sore, it usually means I need to be more creative. When I stop to write or crochet, the pain often recedes. This is just my experience, but I invite you to figure out what your body is trying to say to you.

I am not a doctor; I’m just a human sharing my thoughts. Please be safe and consult a professional before changing your health routine.

I love you.

This is Love