Breaking the Cycle

I was lying in bed this morning meditating, and thoughts about history began coming to me. I remembered being told growing up that we learn history so we don’t repeat it. But as I thought about that this morning, I realized: we do repeat history.

We keep having wars. The players change and the reasons change, but war at its core is hate. We are simply recycling hate in different ways. You could say we learn how not to do it the exact same way every time—we learn to hate in new, repackaged ways so it doesn’t look like a repeat. But hate is hate, and war promotes hate even when it’s fought for what seems like a good cause.

Then my mind shifted to human nature and our personal lives. We repeat what we refuse to learn from. I see it all the time when people complain about a certain zodiac sign or a specific "type" of partner, admitting they’ve tried multiple times with the exact same kind of person only for it to fail again. If you keep dating the same type of person, maybe you haven't learned the lesson yet.

We push love away and welcome hate all the time simply because hate is familiar, and then we wonder why our lives feel heavy. If you don’t change internally, you will keep repeating the same cycle with different people and different scenarios until you finally choose differently.

Gaining Self-Awareness to Change Your Patterns

Choosing differently is hard. Sometimes I’m fully aware that I need to change something, but I don't instantly know how.

It requires building real self-awareness. It takes time because you have to slow down, pay attention to yourself, and analyze how you react or respond in challenging situations. Once you learn your own subconscious patterns, you gain the power to change them.

For example, this year I focused heavily on rest. I needed to learn how to rest instead of constantly burning myself out. I’ve dabbled in it over the past few years, but this year I made it my main focus. I realized I don’t need to work myself into the ground to have a good life. In fact, the more I rested when my body asked for it, the more I was actually able to move forward physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Growing up, rest was always viewed as being lazy. I was conditioned to feel like I should always be doing something, and the workforce teaches us that working exhausting hours is the only way to prove we are serious about our careers.

The only thing I am serious about now is loving myself, and then loving others.

Everything else works out.

I don't always know how things are going to work out, and sometimes the path doesn't even make logical sense, but I choose to go with the flow.

The Sacred Art of Receiving Love

Something I’ve mentioned in previous posts is cultivating the ability to receive love. Now, when someone offers me something for free, I say "yes"—even if I don’t personally need it! I accept it with gratitude and then pass it along to someone else. To me, accepting the gesture is receiving love, and passing it along is giving love.

When someone asks if they can help me with something, I make a conscious effort to say yes. I’m not always perfect at it because I have to actively catch myself from reverting to my old habit of pushing help away, but I keep practicing.

I think hate runs so much of the world right now because we don't even allow ourselves to absorb the small, everyday acts of love presented to us. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture. Love shows up in tiny ways, but we have to be open to receiving it.

If you follow my blog, you know a lot of my core content touches on similar themes, but I try to share different personal stories each time. That’s because I used to repeat fear, hurt, and hate on loop, so now I have to intentionally learn how to love all parts of myself. Just as hate shows up in different forms, so does love. Looking at the same lesson from multiple angles allows me to simply be.

Heaven on Earth starts Within

I truly believe that if more people developed self-awareness, we could reach a point where love rules more than hate. It would feel like Heaven on Earth. Life events would still happen for us to learn from, but when you understand that challenges exist for your growth, you can train your mind not to panic.

I’ve been practicing this mindset this year with so much success.

Case in point: right now, by societal standards, I "should" be freaking out. The car I was using for delivery apps is no longer drivable because the transmission blew. But instead of spiraling into panic, I took a breath, figured out how to take care of my immediate needs, and began looking for a new path that aligns with my true wants and values.

I am taking my time. A few years ago, a broken transmission would have sent me off the deep end, and maybe some of you reading this can relate. But today, I look at the reality: I have a place to live, I have food, and this setback is strictly temporary.

I wanted to stop doing delivery service anyway! Other things in my life needed to come to a natural end, too. Because the car stopped working, I suddenly had the time to focus on crocheting and launching my Etsy shop—something I had been wanting to do for months.

Choosing Myself as an Example

Every choice I’m making right now is an act of self-love. Even when things look rough on the surface, I know in my soul I will get through it. I could easily panic and grab a soul-draining job right away just to feel secure, but I am choosing to love myself, trust my direction, and stay open to new opportunities.

Settling for something that drains me just out of fear is actually going against myself. I refuse to live like I’m stuck in one box or one profession forever. I am opening my life to exciting new possibilities.

I share these potentially scary situations not just to process them for myself, but to inspire you. My kids still watch everything I do, and I never want them to settle for a life that doesn't serve them. I am showing them what unconditional self-love looks like in real time.

Some people can’t wrap their heads around my choices, and that’s completely okay. I know I am learning and evolving, even if others can’t see the internal work. So much of this transformation is emotional and mental—things you can't see with your eyes, but things you can definitely feel when you spend time with me.

I write all of this to encourage you to look inward and cultivate your own self-awareness. I share in the hope of sparking something inside you that helps you love yourself and spread that warmth to others. It’s how we heal the world.

If you don't believe me, try it this week: say "yes" to someone offering help. Say "yes" when people try to do something kind for you. Watch how your energy shifts, and then do the same for someone else. You truly receive what you give out.

I love you

This is love